Troubling Trouble Troubles Me

I came across this troubling quote in an essay on Jean Rhys's Quartet this week: "Central to modernist art is the concept best exemplified in English by Joyce and Eliot of the impersonality of the arts; the notion that the artist was to be refined out of the work of art: an art so impersonal that subject might well follow the contours of the autobiographical self such as Joyce's Stephen Dedalus, but the artist himself remains beyond his handiwork, refined out of existence." According to this critic, however, Rhys's work is not a product of this particular distancing characteristic of the modernist movement because her work is too personal. I am troubled with the distinctions this writer makes. How can the artist be "refined out of the work of art" yet still offer a work that is autobiographical? And why is Joyce such a success at this while Rhys's "developed out of an intensely private world?" Is it the character of her work or merely her character as a woman? Theses questions might be difficult to answer - and might very well be what my dissertation is in part based on. Although I am committed to unwrapping this particular package, I am perturbed by this writer's confident assertions. His tone seems to imply that the reader should know exactly what he is talking about, when in fact he has a lot more to do if he is going to convince this particular reader.

The brilliance of creative chaos

In the spirit of the post where I submitted a photograph of my office, I found this lovely article on desk-related chaos.
Here's a quote that details an experience that I have often gone through:
"There are books that I know I own but I have to buy them again because I can't find them."
I found this article a relief because I always thought my chaos was evidence that I wasn't the intellectual I thought I was. My dissertation advisor, for example, is the picture of perfect organization. It turns out, if the article is to be proof, that I am on the right track. One needs chaos in order to pontificate. However, unlike the author, the only thing growing hair in my office is my cat. As far as I can tell that is.
Read the article here: The brilliance of creative chaos
And information about the exhibit that inspired the article: Eamonn McCabe's Writers' Rooms exhibition at the Madison Contemporary Art

First post written on a mac. Phew!

Burnt Toast

Some time ago, Amy Shaw recommended Writing Your Dissertation in Fifteen Minutes a Day. Thanks for the book recommendation, Amy! The writer argues that you can't necessarily write a dissertation only working on it for fifteen minutes a day but she does say that the best way to get it done is to write every day, at least a little bit. I find this advice is very helpful; I believe I have often posted about momentum and how working even a small amount every day helps tremendously. I also notice that when I write for significantly more than fifteen minutes a day, as in say spending fourteen consecutive days trying to get fellowship applications out the door, I can't write at all. Not one bit. Not a word. Then, I lose momentum, hope in my productivity and a general positive state of mind. In other words, writing too little AND too much can cause harm, perhaps best exhibited by my need to watch National Treasure 2 from 12 - 2 a.m. last night.
So, I am totally burnt out, intellectually exhausted, and I haven't taken a look at my chapter in about a week. After I finally finish this last application, which has been tortuous, I am going to see Quantum of Solace, celebrate Dave's birthday and look forward to the time when my brain doesn't hurt.
And a special PUBLIC apology to Lauren Neefe, who I audibly scoffed at when she suggested I take "a week off." Yeah, I needed to and I needed you to tell me and thanks for not believing me when I said I didn't need such a thing. And one last thanks for NOT telling me I told you so when I confessed to you earlier today how right you were.

Unrelated post: Irony

There is a disease infecting masses of Americans today: the misuse of the word irony. There is nothing to make a anglophile shiver like hearing people use this word wrong, especially when so many consider it integral to our culture.
Here is the dictionary definition:
1: a pretense of ignorance and of willingness to learn from another assumed in order to make the other's false conceptions conspicuous by adroit questioning —called also Socratic irony
2 a: the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning b: a usually humorous or sardonic literary style or form characterized by irony c: an ironic expression or utterance
3 a (1): incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2): an event or result marked by such incongruity b: incongruity between a situation developed in a drama and the accompanying words or actions that is understood by the audience but not by the characters in the play —called also dramatic irony tragic irony

Here is an example of usage I just made up:
Correct usage: (On a very cold day) "What lovely weather we are having! I'm going to strip down to my bikini briefs!" (Irony expresses the OPPOSITE of literal meaning)
Incorrect usage: (On a very hot day) "How hot it is! Ironically, I took my bikini briefs out of the clean laundry this morning!" (This is a coincidence.)

Quote of the Week

"Do you have to be an overachiever in everything you do?"
Said by my knitting teacher AND my acupuncturist within 24 hours of each other.

The Point of the Blog...

In Don DeLillo's White Noise, the main character, Jack Gladney, gets angry at his wife, Babette, for lying to him. He says to her over and over again, "The whole point of Babette is that she speaks to me, she reveals and confides." The most important part of the phrase is his reiteration of the language "the whole point" and "this is the point."
So at the risk of repeating myself, I would like to review the whole point of the blog.
1. The whole point of the blog is to make you feel informed.
2. The whole point of the blog is to make you feel confident.
3. The whole point of the blog is to make you feel like you have enough background information so that you can engage in conversations with me.
4. The whole point of the blog is NOT to make you feel guilty if you don't read the blog. There is no need to confess, "I have not read your blog" and walk away sheepishly. I swear, the point of the blog is NOT to give you something else to do.
5. The whole point of the blog is NOT for you to feel like you can't ask questions because it demonstrates that you have not read the blog.

In sum, the blog is a tool to use (or ignore) in a way that is best for you. The point of the blog is to give you background information so that you feel more comfortable speaking with me about my project. Whether you read the blog or not, however, I will happily engage in vast, bottomless monologues on my dissertation until your cry mercy. The point of the blog is, if you fee like it, some of my monologue will be familiar to you.

The point of the blog is that it is a service to you. Use it as you see fit. But by no means let it make you feel bad.

This is the point of the blog.

Delinqent post #2

Well, so, daily posting is just not going to happen. There are too many times when life gets in the way. But, I will keep up at the very least once a week, although my actual goal is Mon/Wed/Fri, I don't think it's a good idea to overpromise/underdeliver anymore. I've got a few postings up my sleeve today. Though I am still suffering from the remnants of a 24 hour bug, so I apologize if anything sounds dopey.

Another word about Ekphrasis

Although I actually cut this idea from my original proposal, I think I might return to it when I write my Stein chapter. To refresh your memory, ekphrasis is the representation of one art form by another. Keats's "Ode on a Grecian Urn" is probably the most well-known example:

THOU still unravish'd bride of quietness,
Thou foster-child of Silence and slow Time,
Sylvan historian, who canst thus express
A flowery tale more sweetly than our rhyme:
What leaf-fringed legend haunts about thy shape 5
Of deities or mortals, or of both,
In Tempe or the dales of Arcady?
What men or gods are these? What maidens loth?
What mad pursuit? What struggle to escape?
What pipes and timbrels? What wild ecstasy? 10

Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard
Are sweeter; therefore, ye soft pipes, play on;
Not to the sensual ear, but, more endear'd,
Pipe to the spirit ditties of no tone:
Fair youth, beneath the trees, thou canst not leave 15
Thy song, nor ever can those trees be bare;
Bold Lover, never, never canst thou kiss,
Though winning near the goal—yet, do not grieve;
She cannot fade, though thou hast not thy bliss,
For ever wilt thou love, and she be fair! 20

Ah, happy, happy boughs! that cannot shed
Your leaves, nor ever bid the Spring adieu;
And, happy melodist, unwearièd,
For ever piping songs for ever new;
More happy love! more happy, happy love! 25
For ever warm and still to be enjoy'd,
For ever panting, and for ever young;
All breathing human passion far above,
That leaves a heart high-sorrowful and cloy'd,
A burning forehead, and a parching tongue. 30

Who are these coming to the sacrifice?
To what green altar, O mysterious priest,
Lead'st thou that heifer lowing at the skies,
And all her silken flanks with garlands drest?
What little town by river or sea-shore, 35
Or mountain-built with peaceful citadel,
Is emptied of its folk, this pious morn?
And, little town, thy streets for evermore
Will silent be; and not a soul, to tell
Why thou art desolate, can e'er return. 40

O Attic shape! fair attitude! with brede
Of marble men and maidens overwrought,
With forest branches and the trodden weed;
Thou, silent form! dost tease us out of thought
As doth eternity: Cold Pastoral! 45
When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe
Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say'st,
'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.' 50

The Submission

I have submitted my first fellowship application, woo ho! It's a big relief! Especially because now I can stop wasting all that time on my dissertation chapter and focus instead on my blog! The process certainly required that I make my scattered pages into something focused and readable and that's not necessarily a bad thing. It also has enabled me to talk about my dissertation in a concise way and I successfully boiled it down to 800 characters (798 to be exact). Here's a snippet. It's a little out of context but I am still paranoid of dissertation thieves so I must defend myself:
"I argue that these writers sought to reject their own ubiquitous presence in photographic reproduction by finding new forms of self-expression, ironically the very same forms that photography experimented with, in which it would be harder for them to be seen."

The Desk

I am scrambling to get these fellowship applications out the door. I notice that the best gauge of how how hard I am working is the state of my office. Here is an accompanying photo of the floor. You be the judge.
Please note, however, that working hard is not necessarily related to productivity. If only...

Revision

I edited my chapter overview substantially. For one thing, Tender Buttons was published in 1914, which is earlier than the time period I plan to write about. For another, I hated what I had and didn't think it made any sense. Here is my new Stein paragraph:
"For the Stein chapter, I discuss the Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas as an example of the Greek word ekphrasis, the representation of one art form by another, in this case the representation of a portrait photograph in a textual form. More accessible than her previous work, The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas finally brought Stein the popular success she sought. Yet, Stein’s representation explores how the photograph obscures more than reveals meaning and I argue that the novel likewise obscures more than it reveals. It is written by Stein in the voice of Toklas and, despite its title, is ultimately a biography of Stein, not Toklas. The novel manifests an inherent problem of the photograph, which is locating the authorial voice when both the subject and artist believe they are communicating; the subject offers her self-image, however, the artist believes this image is reliant upon her own interpretation."
Pending confirmation, I am relatively happy with how this came out. I might even stick with it when I write the actual chapter. Some of the language needs to be cleaned up but the idea of ekphrasis, of the novel reflecting a photo portrait, I think is compelling.
Now onto Woolf. I had originally thought I would write about The Waves . Now I am not so certain. It is not considered autobiographical and therefore I am not sure it fits with the works of the other writers I am covering. I plan on doing some research tomorrow and will post another update when, I hope, I have a clearer notion of where this chapter will go.

Stein and Woolf

Today I worked on my proposal for one of the dissertation fellowships I am applying for. The irony of it all is that these are called dissertation completion fellowships, yet they are most often awarded to people who are mostly finished with their dissertation and therefore not in need of fellowships. Right now I am working on the paragraphs that sketch out the four chapters. I need to at least pretend I know what I am going to write about. This is hard as I really only have some idea what these chapters will focus on. In fact, it wasn't even until a few weeks I even decided to write about Woolf.
Here is what I have so far:
"The chapters on Stein and Woolf focus on how these two writers explicitly engage photographic form in their work. Stein undertook the photographic form in both her more straightforward The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas and the experimental Tender Buttons; Woolf, however, repudiated the photographic form, particularly in The Waves where she focuses entirely on interiority completely rejecting any kind of physical description."
Yes, I have no idea.
There is something there, I just have to keep digging. Anyone have a shovel I can borrow?

Delinqent post

It's been a week since my last post, in part because I have not worked very much. I thought I would continue to get work done but after handing in the pages I went on a work stoppage. I am firm believer that "stewing" is an essential part of the process and I think I needed to do just that.
Now that I have stewed, and received comments from my committee, I expect to get back to work. The best advice I received was to focus more on the primary texts and stop worrying about what other critics have to say. I tend to use other critics as a crutch and I will attempt to follow the advice as best I can. Right now, I am going to massage my 20 pages into a more workable flow, in attempt to make them ready for some fellowships I plan to apply for.
I am also very excited that one particular committee member, who wrote about Jean Rhys in her own dissertation, complimented my unique point of view. Coming up with a new idea is the whole point of the dissertation and I am so pleased that so far I have managed to do that. Yipee!

The Frame

One concept I am thinking through right now is the idea of frames. A photograph can be framed, obviously, but I am also thinking of a book as framed by its cover (a cover that often features an image). In addition, I want to write about frames more metaphorically, as in, how is in image contextualized? A photograph in a fashion magazine has a different "frame" than a photograph in a newspaper, for example. When a photograph is taken, the sitter might have an idea of how that image should be framed, how it will be contexualized. With photography, the image gets reproduced without the sitters' permission. A photograph of Madonna, for example, originally shot to promote her tour is read differently when it is shown in the context of her impending divorce.
Here is quote from a great book, Fashioning Sapphism, that explains further this idea:
"As the image filters into public culture, its message, formerly at the service of the photographic subject, is resituated in a different context, one that effectively steals away the earlier frame. The portrait thus becomes a 'frame' entrapping the would-be framers" (167).
Do you have a photograph of yourself that was used in a way that you didn't intend? Or read differently than you imagined? Or published without your consent?

Inspirbloggeration

As a result of my call for comments, I received some great ideas for upcoming blog posts. Here's what's coming soon:
1. Random factoids. Thanks to Scott for this one. Stay tuned for interesting bits of trivia probably related to my project but not necessarily.
2. Things in threes. This was inspired by Amy introducing me to http://www.threebeautifulthings.blogspot.com/
This blog lists three beautiful things the writer experiences everyday. This a little too cheesy for cynical me but I do like the idea of random information which becomes related by being put on a list.
3. Requests for participation. Dave Moss suggests I ask my readers to put in their $.02 once in a while. So, look forward to some group work*.
4. Photographs. Of what, I am not sure. My messy desk? My house in its state of construction? My bookshelves organized by period, genre AND it's usefulness? (You are impressed, no?). Blogs seem friendlier when there are pretty pictures so I am going to try to add some.

Hey, I am still open to more ideas so if you still feel like commenting on content, please post to the blog or send me an email!

*For teachers like myself, "group work" is often, although not always, synonymous with any of the following:
1. I hate my students and will show them just how my much by refusing to actually teach today.
2. I had way too many glasses of wine last night and there is no way I am capable of speaking in full sentences.
3. I'm tired of beating them over the head. Let them teach themselves a thing or to.

Quote of the Day

"A Photography is not an opinion. Or is it?"
Susan Sontag

Atonement Post

I have not done a very good job of atoning today. Last year I realized that I start sinning so quickly after atoning, it seems a mockery to even try. Instead, today I am grading papers. When it comes to using the English language, Stony Brook students engage in a multitude of sins.
Since we are speaking of sins today, however, I thought I should add a few words on the sin of narcissism, which I discuss in my dissertation. The word narcissism began to refer to a psychological condition around 1898 but Freud was not one who first used the word in this way. Don't worry, we still have Freud to thank for naming a number of other perversions. According to Freud, however, Narcissism is not a perversion but the "libidinal complement to the egoism of the instinct of self-preservation." Traditionally, narcissism is a means to trivialize women. John Berger points out that in Renaissance painting “You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, you put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting Vanity, thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for your own pleasure” (51).
This idea of narcissism is one of the reasons why I focus on women writers in my project. Much of Joyce's personal history is included in A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Joyce is considered a (the?) hero of modernism. Early (male) critics, however, claimed that Rhys was being unimaginative and banal when she used her own life in her novels.

20 Pages!

I dropped off 20 pages to a member of my committee today. Hardly a treatise, YET! She was duly impressed at my work. She even acknowledged how hard it is to feel productive in the early stages. Since I completely idolize her and think she never, ever, ever, possibly, has writer's block, I enjoyed learning that she had struggles, too! But not anymore, of course, she's way to perfect for that.

Quote of the Day

“Publicity in women is detestable. Anonymity runs in their blood. The desire to be veiled still possesses them. They are not even now as concerned about the health of their fame as men are, and, speaking generally, will pass a tombstone or a signpost without feeling an irresistible desire to cut their names on it.”
Virginia Woolf

Any Comments on Content?

I have been dutifully posting to the Blog almost everyday because Dave warned me that if I don't people will lose interest and stop reading it.
But I think you've lost interest anyway and have probably stopped reading it.
This is fine. Don't feel bad. I realize that much of it is just about me getting some stuff off my b cups.
If, however, you have some suggestions for content, please let me know. I sometimes wonder whether it is better to write posts about my emotional state (always news, even to me) , my intellectual interest of the day, or to provide actual text from what I am writing (I am hesitant to do this last thing because I am paranoid of dissertation thieves but I can do snippets).
Or maybe you just want a weather update?
It's a little chillier today and I think officially fall.

The Pesky Proposal

Today I worked on writing a proposal for a fellowship application due in November. The two main fellowships I am applying for are called dissertation completion fellowships. They pay you so you can focus on finishing your dissertation rather than, say, "wasting" time doing the kind of work people usually pay you for. As you might imagine, these fellowships are very competitive. Of course, the lottery people know what they are talking about when they say that you can't win if you don't play. On the other hand, I don't want to spend too much time working on my applications as it inevitably will take away from the primary writing I need to be doing. So, it's a balance. Good thing I am a libra and therefore extremely adept at balance.
One of the problems I encounter with the proposal writing is the process of writing what you are going to write about without actually having done any of the writing yet. It's a dissertation proposal Catch-22 (apologize to Joseph Heller for the overuse of that particular cliche). I found the process today somewhat helpful, however. As I write and rewrite various drafts of proposals, I understand more what my project is about. I am becoming increasingly focused on the central question I am trying to answer and why this question is so important. It also increases my confidence. I have returned to different forms of the proposal often in the past few months and each time I find I write something very similar. This is a good thing. This to me means that I am committed to my project and that deep inside the little gray folds of my brain it all makes sense, even if sometimes I have trouble spitting it out in actual language that people can understand.
As an aside, I would like to thank iTunes radio for sponsoring the music portion of the day. Great background noise with little distraction. Except for that song that had something to do with stealing someone's baby? Still curious about that one. It's the "Dub Beautiful Collective" in the Ambient section.

Vanity Fair Portrait Exhibit

There is what looks to be an amazing exhibit at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) that I wish I could see! I have the book that goes along with the exhibit and it is so interesting. Check out the fabulous image above that also graces the cover of the book. The exhibit includes the Virginia Woolf portrait (below), portraits of Joyce and D.H. Lawrence and probably many other writers. I am having trouble tracking down the Vanity Fair archive. I thought it was at Ann Arbor but they only have the magazine from the 19th century. Most likely Grayden Carter, the editor of Vanity Fair, has a secret stash in his bedroom.
Anybody have his home phone number?

Quote of the Day

"It sounds like you need to change your attitude."
Sue Rosenblum

Truer words have never been spoken.

Photograph of the Day

Here is an uncharacteristic portrait of Woolf. She posed for Vogue in 1924 wearing her mother's Victorian dress. Her mother, Julia Stephen, was a legendary beauty who often posed for Woolf's great aunt Julia Margaret Cameron (there is a photograph of her in this very same dress!) It is unclear why Woolf would agree to sit for such a conventional photograph. She was known to be a bit of snob and looked down at middle brow culture. In fact, the nose that was such a big deal in the movie The Hours, which supposedly made Nicole Kidman ugly, was a point of pride for Woolf who remarked that she found her long nose quite useful in looking down on people. If you want to learn more about this photograph, check out Virginia Woolf in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction.

Yet, I Persevere

Despite my pathetic post this a.m., some work was actually completed today. I was able to articulate this theory that has been rumbling upstairs (upstairs, as in my brain, not the second floor, where the only rumbling is a 4 year old who REALLY does not want to go to school).
Here's the theory: Homi Bhabha is a thinker who writes about postcolonial theory. He describes the relationship between the colonizer and colonized as "like, but not quite." In other words, the colonized (ie of darker skin than the colonizer) is suppossed to replicate the appearance of the colonizer. But the colonized cannot do a particular good job at this since, of course he (or she) can never be white. This is what the colonizer intended: his authority is in part based on the idea that there will always be a difference between the colonizer and the colonized. Bhabha is a genius and I am sorry to have to be so reductive but this is the best I can do at this hour.
I am using this theory to articulate women's relationship to visual media. We can model ourselves after the women we see in magazines but we can never quite look like her. And that is the point: she will always be thinner, taller, prettier with nicer hair and better skin. Since her image is impossible to achieve, we will keep buying magazines in our neverending attempt to look like her.

Somebody Said Something About Some Kind of Journey?

For a long time I have embraced the theory, albeit cliched, that life is about the journey, not the destination. You know, keep your eye on the prize but don't forget to stop and smell the roses along the way. (Did you know there is an entire dictionary of cliches?)
But to be honest, this journey sucks and I hate it. I am having trouble enjoying the process at all. It's not even a journey. It's being stuck on an airplane with loads of smelly people; there's a delay so we haven't even left the tarmac and the flight attendants won't so much as give me a wiff of water.
Every morning I get up and either feel guilty that I haven't worked on it or have worked on it and it felt like the keyboard was giving me tiny electric shocks the whole time. Oh, the pain.
Oh, the drama.
I think part of the problem is the pressure of the thing. You know THE DISSERTATION! and all it implies. I think another part is the idea that all the many years of school is just going to be boiled down to this one document. And lastly, the fear that ultimately it will all be a disappointment, a yawn a minute, a bore-o-rama, or worse, by the time I finish, someone else will have published it.
I've been told that I just need focus on telling people what I think. And I've said it myself, I've just got to feed the lake.
But if someone has any advice on getting through day to day, please share.

Word of the Day

The word of the day is "Dissercation"

1. noun
2. intransitive verb

Etymology 1: from Latin vacation-, vacatio freedom, exemption

Etymology 2: from Latin dissertāre to set forth at length

Date: Early 21st century

Definitions:
1: a respite or a time of respite from working, thinking or even mentioning the dissertation in any way. 2: a scheduled period during which dissertation activity is suspended either intentionally or accidentally.

Usage examples:
1: I didn't feel guilty about not getting any work done yesterday; it was my birthday and I decided to take a dissercation. 2: I know I said I would have a chapter by the end of the summer, but I didn't plan on taking so much time dissercating.

You saw it here first. Expect to see it in the next edition of the Oxford English Dictionary.

What I'm Reading Now: Camera Works

Welcome to the first edition of this regular feature. I am finding that "reading" does not mean starting and finishing a book. Rather, I read chapters, put books down, read chapters in new books, return to previous books, reread selections. My library is a buffet and I'm the guy in Momento who often can't remember a book's content after 10 minutes later. I should tattoo notes on my body. I'l settle for Zotero.
Right now I am reviewing Camera Works by Michael North. North's book helped majorly with my proposal. When of my struggles has been rationalizing my linkage between photographs and texts. I need to provide evidence that there is a relationship since, for example, I don't have a book that says Stein saw this Man Ray photograph on that day and said, "I am influenced by this." North writes that photography, among other new recording devices, "revealed an inherent instability in the relationship of human perception to reality" (9). My favorite chapter in this book is the one on The Great Gatsby. He talks about Nick (the narrator) as a voyeur . Reading into the narrative from Nick's perspective, North sees it as evidence of a new way of seeing. I want to make the same seamless link between the main character in Rhys' Voyage in the Dark and the concept of women as endlessly reproducible (as they are in photographs).
If you haven't read The Great Gatsby in a while, it is worthy of rereading. It's one of the best books ever written, I think, and Fitzgerald's concept of America still holds true today. Plus, you probably did not get all the sex parts when you first read in high school.

Quantity Not Quality. Wait, That's Not Right.

In the English Department there is a very big office with loads of bound dissertations offering inspiration and intimidation. I checked a few out today to look at format and page count. It appears dissertations in the department range from 140 pages to over 300. I expect to have four chapters, approximately 40-50 pages each, an introduction of about 35 pages and a conclusion of about 15 pages. My master's thesis was somewhere between 40 and 50 pages so I figure each chapter is like a mini master's thesis. It seems more accessible that way.
And, if anyone cares, some have footnotes, some end notes at the end of chapters and some end notes at the end of entire text, just prior to the bibliography. The seem to all use MLA style.

Time on My Mind, Part 2

I am working towards graduating May 2010.

Time on My Mind

When perchance the next you meet a fellow soul pursuing an advanced degree, you might want to know the following: We in the biz like to inquire "How far a long are you?" rather than "When do you think you will finish?" We get defensive at the latter question because it often feels like a veiled way of saying, "What the hell are you doing anyway and when do you think you'll actually get a real job?" We are well aware that in the outside world it seems we take an awful long time gazing profoundly at our navels. No doubt there is a fair amount of navel gazing and time wastage We make very little money and seem to produce almost nothing until the very end, and then all we can squeeze out are three letters (one of them is even lower case). Don't worry, we feel plenty bad about not contributing to the world in the conventional sense of productivity (i.e. cashish). But we prefer to focus all that we have done rather than on all there is yet to do. As you might imagine, gazing at the mountain peak when you've got innumerable switchbacks ahead can be overwhelming. Sometimes it just feels good to take in how far you've already climbed.

Annoying lecture finished. 

Special thanks to...

Nina and Conor (in spirit) for hosting my cat and me while our building is being fumigated. We feel very luck to have a safe and non-toxic place to whole up for a few hours. Apologies, however to Conor, for getting cat hair all over his apartment and especially the desk. Viva la kitty! 

Content of This Blog

The blog will change as the dissertation and my own mental state changes. I expect it to focus less on the details of the project and more on my personal accomplishments in facing the challenges I encounter.
(The first rendition of this post was not nearly as positive think-y!).

About the Title of this Post

Sometimes I wonder to myself why I am spending so much time and effort on something that is challenging and insular. Jean Rhys had a theory on writing that I find particularly inspiring, what she called "feeding the lake" (full quote to the right). Her idea of "the lake" reminds me that exactly what I write is less important than contributing to the dialogue. Obviously, I want to be a part of the academic conversation about Jean Rhys and the other writers I have chosen. I am also motivated by the larger conversation regarding literary women and literature in general. Lastly, I am of the perhaps idealistic belief that my contribution to academia will filter out to the community at large. As I attempt to dig dipper into the many books I will be writing about and the issues that challenged these writers, I hope that I will inspire others to look beyond the obvious and find worthwhile meaning hidden between the layers.

Chapter 1

My first chapter focuses on the writer Jean Rhys. She is best known for her prequel to Jane Eyre, Wide Sargasso Sea. I am writing about two earlier novels, Quartet and Voyage in the Dark.

First Post

I've decided to start a blog to update my friends and family on the progress of my dissertation. I feel that many people are scared to ask me how things are going. Understandably, there are times things are not going so well and the mere question sends me into despair. More often, however, I am happy to update you all regularly on my successes and frustrations. The blog should keep you posted so you no longer have to hesitate to ask.
Now that I've written the above, it occurs to me that maybe the question gives friends and family pause because you don't want to hear a long explanation of exactly how things are going. Perhaps you just ask because you feel you have to. Well, if this is the case, you can simply say "I've read the blog" and I will resist the temptation to engage in lengthy monologues that will make your eyes glaze over.
For right now, this blog is just for the world not participating in academia. If I'm feeling brave, I will share it with others, perhaps even my committee!
I expect some of you will consider this blog just a distraction I've created for myself. This is of course true. However, I find that dissertation writing uses only one part of my creative mind and I long for another outlet. In addition, for those of you who have been to graduate school or done any writing at all, you know how solitary the work can be. I love having my afternoons to myself but I also get incredibly lonely and often want to share my inner world with the outer world.
Check the blog as frequently or as infrequently as you would like. For right now, I don't have a plan for updates.