Belated Post

Thank you to all of those who report that you've been reading!

So here is what is going on:

1. I received my first chapter back from my director and made most of the changes she requested. I also made changes suggested by a fellow dissertation writer with whom I exchanged work. I still need to add some quotes from writer/theorist Irigaray but first I have to figure out what she is saying, so this might take some time. I dropped off the revised chapter to my second and third readers.

2. I was not chosen for a number of the fellowships for which I applied. I am, obviously, extremely disappointed. This is a difficult situation. Intellectually, I know that these awards are highly competitive, especially right now, and that the reasons that I was not chosen might not have any thing to do with the quality of my project but often due to arbitrary personal interests of the selection committee. However, considering I am working alone these days with very little day-to-day feedback, it's hard not to get caught up in a crisis of confidence. It takes discipline to keep myself focused on my work sometimes when I don't feel supported by the outside world, no matter how arbitrary the outside world is.

3. However, I attended a conference and while there I was able to regain a lot of this confidence back. For one, this conference seemed less like work and more like fun. It was smaller and I was able to make some personal connections. Second, the papers were given by a mixture of grad students and PhDs and I felt like I got a good idea of how my own expertise fits in. Lastly, the panel I participated in was exciting and the people who I met wonderful. They also seemed extremely interested in the work I am doing.

After the panel, I resolved not to waste time feeling insecure about my work.It's a little challenging to put this resolution into action though I am working on it.

Stay tuned for my next post: Nella Larsen and Ghosts of the Harlem Renaissaince. I know, you are on the edge of your seet!