Monday, September 29, 2008

Somebody Said Something About Some Kind of Journey?

For a long time I have embraced the theory, albeit cliched, that life is about the journey, not the destination. You know, keep your eye on the prize but don't forget to stop and smell the roses along the way. (Did you know there is an entire dictionary of cliches?)
But to be honest, this journey sucks and I hate it. I am having trouble enjoying the process at all. It's not even a journey. It's being stuck on an airplane with loads of smelly people; there's a delay so we haven't even left the tarmac and the flight attendants won't so much as give me a wiff of water.
Every morning I get up and either feel guilty that I haven't worked on it or have worked on it and it felt like the keyboard was giving me tiny electric shocks the whole time. Oh, the pain.
Oh, the drama.
I think part of the problem is the pressure of the thing. You know THE DISSERTATION! and all it implies. I think another part is the idea that all the many years of school is just going to be boiled down to this one document. And lastly, the fear that ultimately it will all be a disappointment, a yawn a minute, a bore-o-rama, or worse, by the time I finish, someone else will have published it.
I've been told that I just need focus on telling people what I think. And I've said it myself, I've just got to feed the lake.
But if someone has any advice on getting through day to day, please share.

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